The submarine’s heartbeat thudded along the underwater gloom.
Swimming towards the enemies doom.
I surface, periscope ticking. Swivelling around, searching
and thinking.
Bombs loaded ready for launch. Not moving at all, keepingmy stanch.
KABOOM!! BONG!! Now,
the enemy is gone...
Awesoem Katie!!
ReplyDeleteI really love your poem its cool how you used personification :)
I love the way you use personification. Its like the submarine is actually an alive human ☺
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you have used personification and I can just picture it in my head.
ReplyDeleteVery descriptive,emotive and gripping! It's very well writen. The descripsion helps you to imagine being there in the submarine, hearing the ticking and the echoes and trying to imagine how you would feels knowing what you are going to do! You can also imagine looking though the periscope and thinking what you are going to see. Powerful and graphic. Well Done! It leaves a lump in your throat hearing the last line.
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